When I first started this blog was with the intention to tell all you lovely people about my transition from an independent life in Canyon, Texas to a crazy life in Dallas. I suddenly just got smacked in the face full on by the stooges. For those of you who didn’t read that post or forgot or perhaps I didn’t mention it like I thought I did, the stooges are a nickname the family has for the youngest three children in the family (Corynne, Madison, and Kent). And, I’ll admit it; they ALMOST got the best of me this evening.
Ma decided to take Neil to go see these really awesome guys that are near by called the Myth Busters. I don’t know if you’ve heard of them… but that’s where they were. Michael was at work as he usually is on Monday at this hour. Kennedy was at school at rehearsal, and I wasn’t sure when she was going to come home. Do the math, dogs. That’s me alone with a five, seven, and eight year old. No Babysitter’s Club book could have prepared me for this night to come.
The few minutes Ma was home she sent Kent to timeout in his room. Trinity and Zoe were downstairs just running around. Eventually the girls went back upstairs to the play room to watch My Little Ponies. I figured this wouldn’t be too bad of a night and got my new read and opened it up. Ten minutes later….
This is what I see when I go into Kent’s room to tell him his time out is up. My phone was about to die but I couldn’t let a moment like this pass. I’m getting this picture and thinking how cute it is and how easy this is going to be… Baha.
Kennedy comes home not long after that, and I fill her in on the instructions Ma gave us for the night: ravioli for dinner, girls take showers, bed on time.
I go wake Kent up so he can eat with us soon and hopefully go back to sleep later. He comes downstairs and starts walking around saying he’s hungry so, naturally Kennedy and I decide to start supper. Sort of. Actually Kennedy decides to blog while I cook supper. And let me tell you something. I’m not a big fan of pasta unless it’s Chef Boyardee. So this was the first time I was making something that had to actually had to be heated up in a pan. I manage to get the cryptive instructions on the ravioli uncoded and have them boiling only to turn around and once again be amazed.
Yes. That is Kent under the microwave. And I don’t know if you can tell, but he is eating chips. I had left a bag of chips out on the counter that I had been snacking on. I guess Kent decided he was hungry enough to eat some too. Under the microwave table… So, I decide to sit down in front of him and he starts telling me all sorts of things about his day. Something about his class doing cartwheels all over the classroom floor. Now, I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a precarious room to be in. There’s just something about the idea of having a group of kindergarteners perform gymnastics around a classroom that screams “9-1-1.” But, he was the best so I guess he wasn’t worried. We then observed how triangular his chip was. I then decided to find a shrink ray so I can take Kent around with me everywhere. It’s amazing the way he talks…
Now, back to dinner…. the raviolis had finished so I drained them. I wasn’t sure what to do with them after that. So Kennedy told me to put them back in the pan. I told her they would just keep cooking and be ruined but she insisted… And they all stuck to the pan. Yummm…. pan ravioli. But, I put that on the back burner as I still needed to cook the sauce. And this is where it gets funny. You know how in the movies there’s this sweet but misguided girl trying to cook pasta and ends up getting the sauce all over the kitchen? I perfected that scene tonight ladies and gentlemen. Turns out, if the sauce gets too hot, it BOILS. Wow, who would’ve thought? Not me apparently. Cuz that darlin sauce popped all over my arms, the stove, the cabinets, the floor, the fridge, and even the wall. No matter, it was time for supper.
I eventually manage to get everyone in the dining area and ready to eat. Scratch that. I managed to get everyone into the dining area. Then–all hell broke loose. “Wow, look at the floor!” “What happened in here?” *Walks through all the sauce on the floor.* “Ewwww!!!” After finally raising my voice (I hate to yell at people, and I hate to be yelled at.), I managed to get their attention. I told them to go sit down so I could put the food on the table. Madison and Corynne sit down and immediately start shoving each other. Really? I tell Corynne to move to the other side of the table. “NO. This is where I sit. I can’t sit anywhere else.” Gosh. Didn’t realize she was the babysitter tonight. And that’s when the attack of the Drama began.
“Well, I’m telling you to move to the other side since you two can’t sit right.”
“No, I can’t!!! I have to sit in this spot! Ma said so.”
“I don’t care. Right now I’m want you to sit at the other side of the table.”
She finally gets up. I think I finally got her to listen to me, but no.
“FINE. I DIDN’T WANT DINNER ANYWAY!!! IT LOOKS GROSS!!”
I have to admit it did.. But it tasted all right!! I digress. She stomped off upstairs. I didn’t care to follow her. The rest of us eat our dinner, which did turn out pretty good. The raviolis weren’t burned like I thought, and despite the copious amount that sputtered out of the pan, there was still plenty of sauce for everyone. Then the Sweet Stab tries her luck.
Now, there is something you need to know about Madison. I know you’ve all seen her picture. And she looks a real sweetheart. She is!!! But she uses it to her advantage. She’ll just talk soooo sweetly about why she doesn’t need to shower after dinner and why Corynne should instead, and you actually believe her. I literally found myself nodding as she was talking and had to think,”Wow, this girl is good!! She almost got you, Brit!” After I calmly told her she WAS going to take a shower after dinner and that was that, she quieted down and didn’t try to bend anymore rules. Not that I remember anyway. Like I said, the girl’s good!!!
We all finish eating and clear off the table. Madison goes upstairs to get her pajamas and Kent turns on Curious George. Then Drama stomps down the stairs.
“Good!! I’m glad everyone else is done, so I can eat finally.”
She stomps into the kitchen, and I couldn’t help but sigh. I had literally just put the leftovers in the fridge and sat down. She opens the fridge. Then deciding there wasn’t anything she wanted in there, stomps off to the pantry. Oh no, moon pie. I told her she had to have what the rest of us had, and it was in containers in the fridge. She shoots a dirty look my direction. I look right back at her. She stomps over the fridge again and opens it up.
“What did you guys even have for dinner?!?!?!?!!!!!”
REALLY? You said you didn’t want dinner because it looked gross!!! And the yelling was getting on my nerves. I was about to collapse into a nervous heap of wiggling jelly. I explained to her, as calmly as I could, that raviolis were in a container as was the marinara sauce. She said there wasn’t any. She went back and forth with me. Finally she started pulling all the containers out of the fridge. The second one she pulled out finally, finally made her stop yelling. It was the ravioli. She huffily made herself a plate and ate. I think she was starting to feel my mood though because I didn’t have to ask her twice to clean up everything she had gotten out. Then I told her to shower and the whole thing started over again. But this time with crying. Oh my Lord. I don’t know what to do when someone cries. Honest. I’m as bad as Sheldon.
I won’t make you as exasperated as I was… but suffice it to say it took thirty minutes for me to get her in the bathroom and another twenty to get her to actually shower.
And Michael shows up. Thank God. Kent had kept getting out of bed to see what was going on. Madison couldn’t go to bed because she had to brush her teeth and someone was taking forever in the shower. And I was at my wit’s end. Michael says one word and they are all in bed. And I have now written my longest blog yet. I love all of my siblings to pieces. But, I think it must be a prerequisite to drive me nuts in order to be claimed as my sibling. All I can say is thank God Kennedy and Neil are done acting like that. I think it was just a long day for us all. Looking back it is starting to be almost humorous. Almost. And if any of you made it to the end of this blog… I admire you. You deserve cookies and chocolate milk and pie and cake and all things delicious.
May the odds be ever in your favor, dear readers, and good night!