This is my ninteenth post. If you know me at all, you know my favorite all-time number is 19. 19 is a prime number. 19 is Miles Austin’s number (though it used to be 14). 19 is my upcoming birthday. 19 is the most views I’ve had in a day. I stop the microwave at 19 without meaning to. I look at the clock and the minutes will show ninteen. 19 is a great number.
I’ve decided to take a little pause for the cause. I haven’t been feeling all that chipper or positive recently. So, more for myself than anyone, I have decided to reflect. And what better place to do it than on my ninteenth blog post? So, here goes.
- I am alive. I am in decent health. There are plenty of people out there who are in worse health than I am and can’t even do some of the basic things I can do. I can drive, feed myself, go to the restroom, run 19 miles, watch a football game…
- I have a freaking huge family. Not only here in Dallas, but also in Canyon. Sure, I’ve had my ups and downs with everybody, but for some reason they still love me. And that in itself is a miracle.
- Jesus. The Creator of me. Obviously the Guy knows what he’s got going on. I need to quit questioning that for sure.
- I have a high school diploma. I am ticked off that I’m “not going anywhere in life”. I’ve had high expectations for the next thing. Sometimes I forget the simple things like this. Some people don’t get their diploma for whatever reason, and that’s fine. It’s something I worked hard for, and I don’t want to take it for granted.
- I have a home. Despite getting kicked out and being on my own for over half a year, I have a home. I have running water. I have an air conditioner and heater. I have a bed to sleep in for the first time in a long time. I have a place to go.
- My sister Hannah is motivated all by herself to be the best she can be. In many ways I’m jealous of her dedication and motivation in pursuing her education. And she’s involved in theatre too.
- I can talk about Trinity and Zoe as separate people. Before very recently, I referred to them together because I knew them the way I knew that Cosby who was the high school’s quarterback. Now, I have started to get to know them and their personalities and their manners…
- I have two jobs. I have two sources of income for myself to support myself and help out my family like I have so long wanted to.
- I live in Dallas. Ever since I came here for the first time in the fourth grade, I knew I was going to be here someday and I wanted it. I cried every time we had to go back to Canyon, and I craved coming here every year. I’m finally here.
- I understand music. Due to the great teachings of Mr. Farren, Mrs. Weber, and Ms. Berg I can listen to music and not only hear the lyrics, but I can hear the instruments and tones underneath that make music so beautiful and interpret it. I can listen to almost any kind of music and appreciate it.
- I have a friend that will always encourage me and help me through whatever I’m going through as much as she can. We may not live in the same place anymore, but we still try and help each other out.
- I can go to college if I want to. I still haven’t made up mind of what I want to do next in my life, though some people are pushing me in certain directions. But I’m blessed that it is even an option for me.
- I am not allergic to anything. I can eat what I what and not have to worry about going into a coma. I can go outside, put lotion on, and wash the dishes without worrying about something harming me if I come into contact with it.
- I know how to take care of myself. I can provide for myself if I need to. I know how to budget; I know what is neccessary and what isn’t; I know how to pay bills. I’ve done it before and because of that, I am prepared for more than perhaps the average person of my age. I know how to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
- I have few fears and few nightmares. I live a life in which my only fear is the fear of failing again. Not too bad compared to people who are terrified of spiders or snakes or something weird like snow. (?)
- I can quote songs and rap like a white girl.
- When I stop to think about it, I love my life.
- Thank God for football.
I feel better now. 🙂