I left my blog in quite a shape. All frustrated like that. I think that everyday I told myself I was going to blog and then…. I didn’t. Baha.
Basically I’ve gone crazy.
This may or may not be a conversation I had last night with “somebody that I used to know.” Just so you kinda get a feel for how things have been going. I assure you it’s worth a good laugh and a big revelation at the end. And it will read faster than you think. I apologize in advance for the grammatical errors. It WAS a text conversation.
Man who doesn’t talk to me unless he wants someone to cook for him, “What’s good britt?”
Me: me. mwahaha. nothin. you?
man: Haha how are you though?
Me: depends on the day. Alright today. You?
man: That’s good..and I’m alright today 🙂
Stupid me: That’s good. 🙂 are we gonna chill this weekend?
man: oh its this weekend?
yea why not I thot it was next week and was confusing myself lol
Me (still stupid): Lol. If ur vusy its okay. Im still not even sure where im staying yet. I havent been on the ball plannin this trip.
man: Hmm when you comin down?
Regretful me: Saturday morning. Ill leave sunday around lunch or shortly after.
man: Hmm and what all were you gonna do again britt
Me: Uh. Idk. Just gotta pick up my sisters sunday.
man: ya so what are you makin thanksgiving?
Cynical me has arrived: Oh. u know…. turkey.
man: your makin the turkey?
Me: Lol. Naw. Im making the rolls, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, and I think thats it
man: That’s a frickin lot of dishes.. but you like cookin huh
Me: I do indeed.
man: You should make me sumn
Me: Only if u make me sumn
man: My stove doesn’t work
Apathetic me: I have a family of eight.
man: You beast! [as if i birthed them.] When do you start preppin the food?
Annoyed me: Maybe Wednesday night. But prolly just thursday morning.
man: Any pies..you makin any pies?
Me: Maybe chocolate. But my sister, mom, aunt, and grandma are all making one or two. Plus cookies.
man: You beast!
SERIOUSLY ANNOYED ME: I guess…
conniving man: I’m just going to my boy jays house
Smart Ass Me: Now?
man: No thur
Me: Oh. Thats cool ig. Just u two?
man: Me and my roommate Adam and a bunch of other ppl its gonna be pretty fun..I don’t think you’ve met jay
Me: I don’t think I’ve met anybody. Lol. Imma spend it with family. I havent seen my aunt in like 2 days so im super excited. Lmao.
dumb man: You should be..I wonder what your hair color is
Cynical Me: so do i.
man: Are you gon dyen again?
Me: Cant u txt like a normal person? no i havent. I was bein a smart ass.
man: My bad, I figured you were but wanted to be safe type situations lol [he talks like this in real life too]
Me: U scared of me?
man: Lol……….no……um never lol
Me: Don’t lie to me
man: Why would I be scared lol
Me: Cuz im mean. Lol. Ego boost for me. 😉
man: You think your mean lol [his last mistake in this conversation]
Me: I am. Uve even said so.
man: You have a temper but your not mean
man: Mmm maybe a lil but you don’t scare me at all
Me: Who you been doin that makes you a ho?
man: What are you talkin about
Me: I called you a ho and u said maybe a lil.
man: Lol did i [this isn’t a laughing matter dude]
O I was doin a second reply to your question
Me: So ur scared of me!
man: No your scared of me
Me: Nope. Not at all.
man: Don’t lie
Me: I never lie.
Unless ur ghost face, im not scared of u
man: I guess we ain’t scared of eachother..so Idk britt
Lol I know you like it
Me: “so idk britt” whats that mean?
man: I was just sayin Idk.
Lol are my txts weird
Me: Udk what?
Yes. No. Just dont follow logical convo [Ha! How’s that for confusing?]
man: We were talkin bout who’s scared of who and I say we not scared of eachother so I’m tellin you I dont know if i’m scared of you cuz Idk
Me: Wtf. Ok. Im literally lol [at you]
man: No lol I’m not but I haven’t been around you in a situation that would unleash that side
Me: Well, consider urself lucky. 🙂
man: Huh..lol I’m far from the good luch atleast
Me: Psh. Whatever. The fact that you know me is good luck.
That was stuck up, huh?
man: Maybe a lil lol
Me: Cept you know I don’t mean it
man: Or do I…….lol I know [I did mean it.]
Me: What’d u say?
Evil Plan Hatched Me: Baha!! I miss you. [not really] watched a movie the other night that reminded me of you. Sort of.
man: What movie? Remember the Titans? [great joke set up, but the one I have planned is better so I’ll ignore it.] [that was literally my thinking process]
Me: Baha! nope. Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
man: Never seen it
Me: Well. Its swedish. And graphic. In all sortsa ways. Ya?
man missing the point: You like graphic huh
Me: No. I had read the book. The book was very mature and I expected the movie to be the same. It made me very angry. The girl’s rape was nasty. But that wasn’t what reminded me of you.
man: Wtf did you just say a girls rape and my name in the same sentence?
Me: I didn’t say your name anywhere in the text. I said it WAS NOT what reminded me of you.
man: I know what you said..its just that’s what you picked to say about the movie..it was weird to me
Frank Me: Its what the story was built around. Women cruelty.
man: What part of the movie makes you think of me
Me: The main character was short. [Oh my gosh I’m still laughing over this. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!]
man cluing in: Do you think I’m an asshole?
I’ll end that conversation there. Basically this guy kind of affected a lot of the decisions I made through out my senior year. A lot of them I regretted. I don’t necessarily put all the blame on him. I know I was stupid to listen to every word he said like he was Ghandi or something, but the man (Cameron) knew my beliefs and never respected them. He was always trying to change them, and I’m afraid he succeeded in a lot of areas. I was weak. And that’s my fault, but at the same time, he should have been respectful to my beliefs and values. So last night the conversation that I may or may not have had with Cameron escalated. Being 500 miles away really changes your perspective. I had a lot of time to think and I knew it was time to quit hanging on. And I finally told him so. When I was explaining it to my sister, “I am a strong, independent black woman. I don’t need no man. Ain’t nobody got time for that.”
Her reply, “Juice makes me happy. Yes.”
There’s a lot of reflection going on in my head while I’ve been MIA. I haven’t been the kind of person I want to be. And I think it’s time I cut my losses, quit throwing the pity-party, and pull the lead outta my butt and as Barlow Girl so wisely put it in one of my favorite songs, “be the change you [I] wanna see.” Someone else might have said that too.
Also, special shout out to a great man for admitting publicly twice that he reads, and enjoys, my blog. SQUIRREL!!!!! Ditto.
Peace out people.