I’m still battling writer’s block right now.  I really just need to get a life.  But, until then, I’m going to keep using prompts from google.  Today I’m supposed to write about something ugly but find beauty in it.  Deep.  I’m feeling a corny post coming on.  Beware.

I feel like most people would pick something like war or hate or jealousy.  But, you know what I think is ugly?  Family.  Friends.  Ugliest mother hovers ever.  I know what you’re thinking.  Probably something along the lines of, “I love my family!!! How could you say that?  You’re family is great…” Blah, blah.  You know, the usual stuff people tell ungrateful teenagers.  I’m not ungrateful, really.  I promise.  I love my family.  I even like most of them.  But not without pain.

Most people get along with their family for the most part.  Right?  Wrong.  Who hasn’t had a “sisterly spat” or “brotherly brawl” or “parent problems”?  “Everybody”.  (I “figured” I was “overusing” quotation marks “anyhow”.)  But seriously.  NO ONE GETS ALONG WITH THEIR FAMILY 24/7.  Whoa, caps lock.  I think my computer, Felix, agrees.  I guess he doesn’t get along with the other HP computers. NO I DON’T.  Hmmmm…  I mean, have you ever taken a step back and looked at your family?  I’m sure everyone does it at some point or another.  Do you ever think, if I wasn’t forced to be around them, I would never be around them?  Because I’m not going to sit here and lie to you and say I haven’t.  Do I sound cold?  I’m in the mood for coldness I guess and damn Jack Frost refuses to show up.  Guess the job falls to me.

Like I said, I really love my family.  My sister is my best friend in the whole wide world.  I enjoy playing around with my siblings and hanging out with my cousins.  But it’s like when you look at your best friend and think, “My God.  How did we ever become friends?”

I guess this just leaves the question, why the hell am I put with such strong, opinionated, and damn intelligent people?  We drive each other batty.  We are practically all the exact same person.  Or I feel that way.  Especially my sister, Hannnah, and I.  We don’t just finish each other’s sentences.  We say what the other one was about to say.  Which is really annoying.  Imagine having someone around who always said what you were going to say, right before you said it.  I suppose it goes both ways.  We get the same ideas and literally race each other to claim rights to it.  And of course, we say the same thing at the exact same time at least once a day.  So annoying.  So dummy.  Say the wrong thing, and the wrong….

Anyhow, I’m obviously just having trouble writing this post right now.

So, the beauty in it, yes.  Well, I can look at her and she knows exactly what I’m thinking.  We have no need for a secret language, though we have tried to make one up.  Sure we get all up in each other’s grill and ain’t nobody got time for that and all…. But basically what I’m saying is family sucks.  I mean this Pandora station is making me angry.

Family is awesome.  I’m choosing to be happy right now.  Family is awesome.  My dad sucks.  But I guess it sucks to suck, right?  I’m sounding like a troubled juvy kid.  Rawr.  I really love my family.  I do.  I like some of them.  Most of them.  But why do you get put with who you get put with?  Why?  There must be something for you to offer them.  But what?  For me it is a question I still haven’t been able to answer.  To clean?  To bring honor?  To make them proud?  To teach a lesson?  What’s going on with life these days?  It’s all confusing and frustrating.

“Shine bright like diamond.  Shine bright like diamond.  So shine bright, you and I.  We’re beautiful like diamonds in the sky.”

Poop in my cheerios.  With no milk.


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