Due to my general lack of creativity and personality at the moment, I’ll just share something I wrote back in high school. So long ago…..
This first section is a selection of quotes from my government dual credit discussions we had every week. Unfortunately I didn’t save the prompts with them, but I think you can still appreciate the humor. Really, it’s just proof that I was focused on the important things, even back then.
” It’s like….football. You’re making a fantasy football team. You want to pick the players that are going to get you the most points, right? You are not going to pick David Garrard (the not so great QB) over Vick (the QB that gives defenses nightmares). Vick is the one that will get you farther, will benefit your team more. It’s the same thing in government. You have to pick and choose the best. Both are good quarterbacks. One is better than the other though. There are going to be compromises. And lastly, no one is ever completely satisfied. Ever. It’s just not going to happen. There is always someone who wants more even if it isn’t necessarily what is best. Terrell Owens, when he was on the Cowboys, was never satisfied with how many catches he got. Well, if he’s being covered well by defenders, he’s not going to have the ball thrown to him as much. He wasn’t happy with the fact that he was having a 1,000 yard season and pulling away defenders from the other guys like Patrick Crayton who weren’t so good at getting open. Nope. It had to be his way or the high way. (He ended up taking up taking the high way.) The people who walked out of the convention or refused to sign, they’re the Terrell Owens of the 18th centry. They weren’t happy and they were going to throw a fit about it even though the Constitution shaped out to be a pretty sweet deal for everyone. And, hey, if you don’t like it, there are other countries in the world.”
“If they [Congress] tried to draft a law or something to take complete control, the president would not approve it because he already has so little power anyway. Unless it was some really daft airhead who’s used to being told what to do anyway like Kris Jenner. And who would vote for someone related to the Kardashians?”
“The Congress is like (another football analogy) our general manager, the president our coach (not all coaches lead us to victory), the courts our referees (no one did ever like those guys). Like any team, if they can’t all stay within their realm but still find a way to work together and make sure everything is running smoothly, the league goes to…..baseball. Just kind of kidding. But seriously, if the coach makes all the calls the players are run to death and good for nothing, if the general manager makes all the calls then we’ll get no where because they’re all just about the money. If refs make all the calls….. I don’t want to think about that. The key to a successful team, I mean government, is to make sure all the key components pull their fair share and work together for the good of the game and the players. (Is there any way Jerry Jones can read this, please?)”
Basically we can learn from this that I learned nothing from government and I was obviously busier thinking about other more important things than whether or not the president really has power. Or who the president is. Around the time I wrote these posts for government, I also got ten bonus points on a English reading quiz for answering the question, “What is the first line of the song on page 60?” with all of Miles Austin’s stats I could think of at the time. I.e. I wrote really small and the whole page was covered. I knew where the real information was people. nfl.com