In junior year AP English class, we studied the Scarlet Letter. Afterwards, we had to come up with our own letter that we thought represented us and write a short essay about why we felt that way. We also had to make a physical representation of the letter. Actually make what it would like sort of. Here’s the essay I wrote, including the short description I included of my letter. I’m not changing the puncuation, because depite what my teacher says, I think it’s just dandy.
Some people say I’m smart; some say I’m stupid. Some people say I’m fun; some say I’m “cantankerous”. Oftentimes, it’s because of my obsession with football. I’m football smart. I’m stupid because I like football so much. I’m fun because I understand football and can actually talk football. I’m fun because I think others can follow my football talk. I’m cantankerous (annoying to deal with) because of my football obsession. Ask someone my name and you’ll get: “Britt-the Cowboys fan” or “Britt-the football fanatic”. That’s who I am. Football (sadly) controls my moods. Football interests me in ways nothing else can. People say I’m obsessive, but don’t we all have something we’re obsessive about? Mine is football. The fact I’m so open about it makes me open to ridicule and laughter. You could put a scarlet letter on me but there’s really no need. I talk football; I walk football; heck, if football were a food I’d eat it any way it came. I can relax talking about football, about my favorite Miles Austin, my favorite team the Boys, my rivals of the NFC, my least favorite rules or penalties. I love the way the turf looks with the clean white lines making the yards. I love the sounds of plastic hitting platic during a tackle. I love the smells of popcorn and sweat and sticky-sweet Coke of the games. My spirit goes up and down with the teams. My heart speeds up and the adrenaline pumps. During offseason, I’m like a dormant bear — waiting to be awakened anew by the sweet promise of victory and a good long war. I hold grudges against other teams and their fans. Forget the 13th admendment, all Philidelphia Eagles fans should be slaves. I enjoy the betting, the gambling, the rush of every game. I enjoy arguing that my team is the best. It is. When players hurt, I hurt; I cry. When players are mad, I’m mad; I yell. When players are happy, I’m happy; I dance and laugh. Sometimes I feel guilty about how much my life is devoted to football. But I need a place for my passion and frustrations to go. Football is the place I can let go. Football is the place I feel comfortable in no matter what. I am football. (Go Cowboys.)
My letter is black on one side because sometimes football consumes my life leaving no room for anything else. The other side of my letter is blue, bright blue, because football gives me joy and helps me enjoy life. Also, blue is the Cowboys’ color. My letter is small and simple because it is really not necessary; everyone know I love football. I chose to hang it around my Miles Austin bear because he is my favorite player on my favorite team of my favorite sport.
Wow, I seriously needed some puncuation lessons. My writing sounds so cavemen-like. There was no made up wordiness. Barely any commas to the top. Altogether, very childish. Thank God for English teachers. Whaaaaat.