How to Make Your Own Entertainment

funny-mishaps

As I’ve mentioned before, there’s not really anything to do where I live. There’s a place called Wildcatter’s where you can go bowling, a small theater, and a few little parks. Of course, I’m sure you’re thinking that the theater is right up my alley. My thing. Which you are right. But, it’s not a dollar theater and I’m now a broke college kid. Haha. And on top of that, I’m running with a different crowd now. These aren’t the Phatts. These are the crazy people.
Anyways… I figured there are some other people out there who are just as bored as me, or they are at least in the same situation. So I thought I would help ya’ll find something to do. Here’s a few suggestions that I know will keep you entertained for a bit (mainly because I’ve done them all).

1. Knock on someone’s door and run away, but do it to the same person once a week and see how many times you can do it without them figuring out who you are. (Psssstttt….. Greg! It’s been me this whole time!!!!)

2. Bust a whole in your cousin’s bike wheel and fix the wheel. But while you are at Wally World looking for a new tube and tire, put a skateboard on the ground to look at it and get yelled at for riding it in the store. Even though you never put a foot on it. Then, follow that employee around until last call (since you went 15 minutes before closing time). Then, after you go through all the effort to fix it, bust it again.

3. Go get the skateboard.

4. Get road burn from trying to learn how skateboard on asphalt. (I still have the scars.)

5. Get another job so you are never home and never have time to eat. But you still don’t lose any weight. Because that would make sense and make it worth it. Then have your hip pop out of place and quit the second job. (It was fun while it lasted.)

6. Sign up for a welding class with a lady who doesn’t know what’s going on anymore than you do. Next thing you know, you’re signed up for 18 hours and you should only be signed up for 2. Then go fix it because otherwise your grandpa won’t pay for it. (I start tomorrow!!!!)

7. Imitate a Beyonce dance outside in daylight where the whole world can see you. Including your 86 year old Papa. Then run away barefoot and get stickers in your feet.

8. Watch Breaking Dawn Part 2. Five times in a row. And cry every single time Carlisle dies.

9. Watch Les Mis and cry during the whole movie.

10. Look up hot guys.

11. Dye your hair 4 times in as many weeks. Then freak out because your hair is starting to fall out and look a little green.

12. Reread the Harry Potter series and realize you are the kid Voldemort and Bellatrix Lestrange never had.

13. Chase chickens.

14. Help Papa with the garden.

15. Improve your Texan accent.

16. Watch the Academy Awards and not know what anyone is talking about. Because you don’t care.

17. Take crap from your Papa for being Texan and a Yankees fan at the same time.

18. Get your Papa a cactus because he said he wants one. But when you give it to him he tells you he can’t eat it.

19. Update your Facebook 7 times a day.

20. Watch Disney movies with your two year old cousin over and over and over and over and over and over and over……

21. Pay bills.

22. Buy tools and a tool bag.

23. Order cute rain boots.

24. Have your dad’s cat pee on your purse.

25. Go to your sister’s dance recital and cry some more.

26. Write every one of your siblings a letter because they don’t answer your texts and phone calls.

27. Debate on whether vampires are a type of zombie or not.

28. Crochet a blanket.

29. Sleep all day.

30. Koala a telephone pole.

31. Go on walks and end up with a parade of stray dogs following you home.

32. Try to pet the local cows.

33. Start walking toward an old abandoned house and run hard and fast being chased by a dog who has already claimed it for himself.

34. Learn how to drive a standard. (Sort of.)

35. Prepare for family get togethers that you don’t get to attend because you have to work.

36. Be called overweight.

37. Laugh.

38. Pull practical jokes on your cousin over and over again until she puts Bloody Mary on the mirror.

39. Pop, lock, and drop it in the middle of Wal-Mart.

40. Order a new pipe.

41. Be able to quote the whole Mulan movie.

42. Date a guy for two days. (Turns out he doesn’t have a personality.)

43. Prank call people until they hang up on you. Then call them back and say, “If you hang up on me again I’ll cut you like a freaking fish.” Then laughing maniacally, hang up.

44. Text someone who doesn’t have your number and say, “It’s done, but there’s blood everyone.” Then laugh when they reply with, “It’s ok. Just dump the body in the trash can out back….clean the blood up with tampons.”

45. Call a local business and ask to speak to a manager. Then make conversation and make sure they are having a good day.

46. Go to work on your day off to see your buddies.

47. Make sure you say good bye to all the people you like so they know you don’t want them to die.

48. Put a swamp cooler in while your boyfriend-for-two-days watches and then goes back inside saying it’s hot outside.

49. Try a new kind of fish in a lot of different ways.

50. Go to the lake and swallow so much water accidentally (by trying to get on your floatie and falling off when you do actually get on) that you have the poopies later.

Those are just a few suggestions to try. If you would like more information on how to specifically do one of the above, feel free to ask. I assure you I am well experienced.

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