National Hotdog (Death) Day

So today is National Hotdog Day people. I’m not telling you because I like hotdogs. Quite the contrary. They’re down there right by broccoli in my book. (That’s pretty low.) I’m not even telling you to advertise that Sonic is having a special where you can get an American dog or a regular chili cheese coney for one dollar each. All day long. No, I’m telling you because I find it amazing that it is actually National Hotdog Day. And it’s being celebrated.

The horror, the horror!!!!!
The horror, the horror!!!!!


I mean, who made National Hotdog Day??? Why did they feel the need to celebrate fake meat wrapped in weird looking bread? According to Wikipedia (and we all know how accurate that can be) the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council of the USA (so many jokes to put, so little space) designated July 23rd as National Hotdog Day. For no particular reason. I call for National Pizza Day!!!! That’s something I could get used to celebrating.

Stay calm and eat pizza.
Stay calm and eat pizza.

Okay, May 27th is National Pizza Day.  I’m becoming more amazing every time I google.  What I’m getting around to is….. WE MAKE UP HOLIDAYS FOR EVERYTHING.  Presidents Day, Giraffe Day (no kidding), Hotdog Day, Valentines Day…….  I could keep going on.  We make up these awesome days for supposedly awesome things.  And attempt to celebrate them.  I’m not sure how I even feel about this.  I could make up some weird joke about how America obviously has a self esteem problem so we need to celebrate everything.  But at the same time, it’s kind of cool that we can celebrate things so miniscule.  Obviously I know I’m not stupid.  It’s just a big hoax by the companies of the world to find a way to make more money.  But still.  People actually buy into it.  I know my family is having hotdogs tonight.  So hoax or not, it’s a holiday.  Sort of.

But, I suppose live and let live, eh?  I think I’m going to call tomorrow National Carhop Day.  Everybody tip your carhops!!!!!  Especially the ones that work 5-10 and have minor road burns.  They deserve lots of tips.



Keep it classy and happy National Hotdog Day.


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