Heyyyyyy, people! I came back! I don’t always do that recently! I’ve been super wishy-washy the last few times I was blogging. I am going to continuously make the effort to keep writing though! So stay tuned. Otherwise, I’ll just be talking to myself again.

God, she’s so talkative this time of night. You can just ignore her.  So… Heyyyyyy, people! I came back! I know I’ve been wishy-washy and that sort of crap the last few times I’ve blogged. But I’ve been feeling supery-dupery creative recently! I even decorated for a birthday party today!!

Man, I can’t believe she interrupted me AGAIN.  Ugh, what I was going to say is that I’ve been feeling super creative recently. Like, I actually decorated for a three-year-old’s birthday party today! It was pretty fun actually. He’s really into Thomas the Train right now. His parents spent all this last week decorating his room.  The repainted it with clouds and hills and stuff on the walls. It was super cute! I got him a toy box to keep all of his toy trains in, and we put stickers of all the engines on the walls, and his bed is literally Thomas the Train.  It’s pretty awesome if I do say so myself. And I say it’s awesome.

So you probably all have heard that I’m a published editor now. No biggie. Just throwing it out there. (Why for $3 on Kindle, ya’ll.)

Annnnyyywayyyysss, so I’m not too sure what I was going to write about necessarily. I just wanted to make sure I kept writing. I always enjoyed writing. I’m not the most amazing writer in the world. I’ll never be a famous writer like JK Rowling or Moses, but I’m slightly better than average. I think.

So, I’m going to keep writing. One of my favorite outlets, of course, is my blog. But I’m definitely probably going to try and pick up a couple of my stories again.  Through this whole process of getting Why published, I’ve had a light bulb moment about something I think I’ve been coming to terms with for a while now.

I’m not the most amazing human being to ever exist.

You may be laughing, or perhaps you think I’m just being stupid, again.  But in all actuality, it’s a real and ever-present problem I have. I want to be perfect. However, I didn’t know what perfect meant. I mean, I knew what other people wanted from me. I knew what other people thought was perfect. So instead of pursuing what I wanted to, what I thought would make me the best me, I pursued what other people thought I should do.  I always felt like I was failing at life in general, but I was because I expected so much out of myself. Because I was expecting something I couldn’t achieve. But that’s okay. Because what I was pursuing was not me. It was someone else’s version of me. And I bet that person is still awesome. But it’s just not me. And I like me a lot. Have you ever talked to me?

Everyday.

Well, nobody asked you.

Anyways, what I’ve been trying to get to is, I’ve made a lot of mistakes.  Some really big mistakes. Some pretty small, but I thought they were huge.  Editing this book helped me realize what I enjoy.  And that even if people think it’s cliché, or basic as the yungins say, it’s me. And I enjoy it. And I may never be successful. I may never make a living out of editing my friend’s books. I may never publish my very own novel. But I’m happy. And I think I’m even closer to my friends now. And that’s hard to accomplish, we are pretty tight. I think I  am kind of rambling here.

So here’s the point for reals.  I’ve learned I don’t need to live for how other people perceive me. I’ve learned I am my own person, and I need to do what makes me happy. I don’t have to be the best at everything. I’ve been so caught up in being the best at everything, I screwed myself over, and a lot of people around me. Because I was trying to be the best of something I have no right to try and do. Because I wasn’t doing it for me.

So I’m still the most amazing person I know, because I am finally learning who I am.  And that’s awesome. Even if it has taken almost 23 years for me figure all this out.

So keep it classy, folks. And see you on the next turn.

juice makes me happy yes
“Juice makes me happy. Yes.”
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2 thoughts on “I Came Back

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