Started From the Bottom, Now We….. Still At the Bottom

Long time no see my friends. Life became crazy and hectic, though to be honest I became a bit of a slacker. Though I guess I always was…. I was just really good at hiding it. Ten things you should know about my life now:
1. I’m finally freaking 21!!!!
2. I have had a boyfriend for almost two months. A real live breathing boyfriend.
3. I will be for reals on my own officially this weekend.
4. I just quit my going-on-two-years job at Sonic and my manager is pissed to put it lightly.
5. I’m writing this post in 40 degree weather.
6. I miss my sissy and bubba.
7. I just got a new job. (Hence, numero 4.)
8. I still to this day, have not wrestled a shark. Or a mongoose.
9. I’m debating on referring to myself in the third person as “The Hyena”.
10. The Hyena is hungry.

Knowing what you now know, The Hyena knows your opinion of The Hyena has only gotten more favorable. The Hyena has missed blogging and will probably be back tomorrow with more interesting conversation.

Bye, Felicia.

The Hyena thinks this will be The Hyena's new selfie.
The Hyena thinks this will be The Hyena’s new selfie.

National Hotdog (Death) Day

So today is National Hotdog Day people. I’m not telling you because I like hotdogs. Quite the contrary. They’re down there right by broccoli in my book. (That’s pretty low.) I’m not even telling you to advertise that Sonic is having a special where you can get an American dog or a regular chili cheese coney for one dollar each. All day long. No, I’m telling you because I find it amazing that it is actually National Hotdog Day. And it’s being celebrated.

The horror, the horror!!!!!
The horror, the horror!!!!!

 

I mean, who made National Hotdog Day??? Why did they feel the need to celebrate fake meat wrapped in weird looking bread? According to Wikipedia (and we all know how accurate that can be) the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council of the USA (so many jokes to put, so little space) designated July 23rd as National Hotdog Day. For no particular reason. I call for National Pizza Day!!!! That’s something I could get used to celebrating.

Stay calm and eat pizza.
Stay calm and eat pizza.

Okay, May 27th is National Pizza Day.  I’m becoming more amazing every time I google.  What I’m getting around to is….. WE MAKE UP HOLIDAYS FOR EVERYTHING.  Presidents Day, Giraffe Day (no kidding), Hotdog Day, Valentines Day…….  I could keep going on.  We make up these awesome days for supposedly awesome things.  And attempt to celebrate them.  I’m not sure how I even feel about this.  I could make up some weird joke about how America obviously has a self esteem problem so we need to celebrate everything.  But at the same time, it’s kind of cool that we can celebrate things so miniscule.  Obviously I know I’m not stupid.  It’s just a big hoax by the companies of the world to find a way to make more money.  But still.  People actually buy into it.  I know my family is having hotdogs tonight.  So hoax or not, it’s a holiday.  Sort of.

But, I suppose live and let live, eh?  I think I’m going to call tomorrow National Carhop Day.  Everybody tip your carhops!!!!!  Especially the ones that work 5-10 and have minor road burns.  They deserve lots of tips.

bashful

 

Keep it classy and happy National Hotdog Day.

Thankful But….

I love my friends. Don’t get me wrong. They are some of the coolest people in the world. (Obviously, they hang out with me.) But sometimes it’s just too much. Compared to most of the people in my generation, I’m something of a hermit. I don’t like to have plans for every day. I’m perfectly okay with days like today. Stay at home, read my books, watch some TV, take care of my chores, work. I don’t mind the solitude. Hanging out with some friends a couple of nights a week is good. I can keep up with them easily that way, stay close. Without killing myself with fake smiles and interest.

What brings this post about, I’m not really sure myself. I miss my Phatts. I miss my Stooges. I miss my super secret best friend Bruce Wayne (hi). And I like to hang out with my friends every now and then. I enjoy when they text me and we catch up for a couple of days. But then there are those people who want to talk to you 24/7. And there’s not much to talk about. I’m not going to lie, back in my immature days really, really immature days I did the same thing every now and then:  always wanting to text someone and keep the conversation going that wasn’t really a conversation…  But those days are long gone.  I don’t mind texting people if it’s an interesting conversation.  I don’t mind talking to people on the phone as long as there’s not those awkward pauses where neither person is talking (with the exception of Kennedy).  But for reals.

There’s been this guy that wants to keep talking to me.  He’ll start by asking how I’m doing.  Then he’ll ask me how my day was.  Then he’ll ask how work was.  Then he’ll ask a question that will get some semblance of a conversation going.  For like two minutes.  Of course, I’m not just a jerk and answering the questions, I try to ask questions as well, but believe it or not, sometimes I don’t even know what to say.

negative 2

 

I can feel that I have now reached the point of rambling.  Moving forward.

Yesterday I had to train someone.  I used to be like THE trainer at Sonic.  Apparently I’m taking that role back.  I’ve barely been back a week and I’m training again.  I guess I do it right, but I loathe training.  Because when they screw up, it’s my screw up as well.  And they follow you around like a puppy.  And I would know.  I’ve got two at home.  Of course it’s not their fault.  And the girl that I was training yesterday was actually a sweet heart.  But she couldn’t multitask.  :/  Hahaha.  All the same, I’ve trained worse.

Yesterday I got onto my Goodreads account and found that I was 62 books behind my yearly goal.  I’ve read seven books this year.  Yikes.  So I pulled some books out of my magical pink trunk and got going.  I started on a book full of Celtic, Nordic, and Tuetonic legends and myths.  In my reading I have found a lot of phonetic synonyms to names of places and people in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.  Perhaps Tokien got his ideas from rarely known myths??  It’s an interesting theory.  I feel so smart making these connections as I read.  And apparently my ancestors of Ireland were allies with Attila the Hun.  It’s crazy what you can learn from old legends.  I find most of them to be very realistic and historically accurate (if I’m remembering correctly from history class)  there is a very small touch of the fantastical dwarves and elves and magical gifts.  Small enough to see why they were added, just to make up a gap in the story.  Small gaps that really don’t effect the outcome, just to explain why ordinary men were able to accomplish so much.  The stories even have sarcasm in them!!!  Amazing.  Who knew I came from a long line of sarcastic warriors?  I guess I had no hope.

motto

 

And with that I’ll bring this negatively-toned post to an end for the sake of us all.  Keep it classy folks, to make up for my recent lapse.  😉

 

At least I'm not this negative.  Sheesh.  I can recommend you to a shrink.
At least I’m not this negative. Sheesh. I can recommend you to a shrink.

 

How to Make Your Own Entertainment

funny-mishaps

As I’ve mentioned before, there’s not really anything to do where I live. There’s a place called Wildcatter’s where you can go bowling, a small theater, and a few little parks. Of course, I’m sure you’re thinking that the theater is right up my alley. My thing. Which you are right. But, it’s not a dollar theater and I’m now a broke college kid. Haha. And on top of that, I’m running with a different crowd now. These aren’t the Phatts. These are the crazy people.
Anyways… I figured there are some other people out there who are just as bored as me, or they are at least in the same situation. So I thought I would help ya’ll find something to do. Here’s a few suggestions that I know will keep you entertained for a bit (mainly because I’ve done them all).

1. Knock on someone’s door and run away, but do it to the same person once a week and see how many times you can do it without them figuring out who you are. (Psssstttt….. Greg! It’s been me this whole time!!!!)

2. Bust a whole in your cousin’s bike wheel and fix the wheel. But while you are at Wally World looking for a new tube and tire, put a skateboard on the ground to look at it and get yelled at for riding it in the store. Even though you never put a foot on it. Then, follow that employee around until last call (since you went 15 minutes before closing time). Then, after you go through all the effort to fix it, bust it again.

3. Go get the skateboard.

4. Get road burn from trying to learn how skateboard on asphalt. (I still have the scars.)

5. Get another job so you are never home and never have time to eat. But you still don’t lose any weight. Because that would make sense and make it worth it. Then have your hip pop out of place and quit the second job. (It was fun while it lasted.)

6. Sign up for a welding class with a lady who doesn’t know what’s going on anymore than you do. Next thing you know, you’re signed up for 18 hours and you should only be signed up for 2. Then go fix it because otherwise your grandpa won’t pay for it. (I start tomorrow!!!!)

7. Imitate a Beyonce dance outside in daylight where the whole world can see you. Including your 86 year old Papa. Then run away barefoot and get stickers in your feet.

8. Watch Breaking Dawn Part 2. Five times in a row. And cry every single time Carlisle dies.

9. Watch Les Mis and cry during the whole movie.

10. Look up hot guys.

11. Dye your hair 4 times in as many weeks. Then freak out because your hair is starting to fall out and look a little green.

12. Reread the Harry Potter series and realize you are the kid Voldemort and Bellatrix Lestrange never had.

13. Chase chickens.

14. Help Papa with the garden.

15. Improve your Texan accent.

16. Watch the Academy Awards and not know what anyone is talking about. Because you don’t care.

17. Take crap from your Papa for being Texan and a Yankees fan at the same time.

18. Get your Papa a cactus because he said he wants one. But when you give it to him he tells you he can’t eat it.

19. Update your Facebook 7 times a day.

20. Watch Disney movies with your two year old cousin over and over and over and over and over and over and over……

21. Pay bills.

22. Buy tools and a tool bag.

23. Order cute rain boots.

24. Have your dad’s cat pee on your purse.

25. Go to your sister’s dance recital and cry some more.

26. Write every one of your siblings a letter because they don’t answer your texts and phone calls.

27. Debate on whether vampires are a type of zombie or not.

28. Crochet a blanket.

29. Sleep all day.

30. Koala a telephone pole.

31. Go on walks and end up with a parade of stray dogs following you home.

32. Try to pet the local cows.

33. Start walking toward an old abandoned house and run hard and fast being chased by a dog who has already claimed it for himself.

34. Learn how to drive a standard. (Sort of.)

35. Prepare for family get togethers that you don’t get to attend because you have to work.

36. Be called overweight.

37. Laugh.

38. Pull practical jokes on your cousin over and over again until she puts Bloody Mary on the mirror.

39. Pop, lock, and drop it in the middle of Wal-Mart.

40. Order a new pipe.

41. Be able to quote the whole Mulan movie.

42. Date a guy for two days. (Turns out he doesn’t have a personality.)

43. Prank call people until they hang up on you. Then call them back and say, “If you hang up on me again I’ll cut you like a freaking fish.” Then laughing maniacally, hang up.

44. Text someone who doesn’t have your number and say, “It’s done, but there’s blood everyone.” Then laugh when they reply with, “It’s ok. Just dump the body in the trash can out back….clean the blood up with tampons.”

45. Call a local business and ask to speak to a manager. Then make conversation and make sure they are having a good day.

46. Go to work on your day off to see your buddies.

47. Make sure you say good bye to all the people you like so they know you don’t want them to die.

48. Put a swamp cooler in while your boyfriend-for-two-days watches and then goes back inside saying it’s hot outside.

49. Try a new kind of fish in a lot of different ways.

50. Go to the lake and swallow so much water accidentally (by trying to get on your floatie and falling off when you do actually get on) that you have the poopies later.

Those are just a few suggestions to try. If you would like more information on how to specifically do one of the above, feel free to ask. I assure you I am well experienced.

Didgeridoo

A didgeridoo is an aboriginal wind instrument prominent in Australia.

Me on a summer afternoon.

Actually I’m a whole buncha Irish.

Secretly in love….

Fun fact: I speak Texan fluently.  I even think Texan.  It would be embarrassing if Texans weren’t so dang proud.  Imma proud Texan too!  We fought at the Alamo dang it!

O Texas, our Texas!!!

But I don’t really care for country music.  (Yes, I don’t even like Taylor Swift.)  In fact I love the deep throaty swoon and slide of jazzy Frank Sinatra.  Or the rebel tones of Celine Dion, the soul of Ella Fitzgerald.  My favorite song to sing randomly: “Somewhere over the rainbow…. bluebirds fly.  Birds fly over the rainbow, why, then oh why, can’t I?

My hero.

Having been involved in some sort of musical group since I was just five years old, music kind of defines me.  Before I could be in a choir at school, I was in the church choir.  In fourth grade I tried out for the “Honor Kids” choir.  And conned my parents into getting me to school by 7:15 for rehearsal.  I tried out for All-Region in junior high and was always in the top ten chairs.  Every solo I tried out for, even though I didn’t get as many as I’d like.  I was a haughty first soprano, but that didn’t stop me from convincing my choir teacher to let me sing alto one year.  I was determined to sing the highest and the lowest in my choir.  I achieved the former and nearly got the latter.  I have an annoying ear.  I cannot watch the Phantom of the Opera without cringing.  Gerard Butler is not a singer.  Nor is anyone else in that movie for that matter.  The vowels and tone…. blah!!!!  Don’t get me started.  I have a cd of the highlights from the Phantom of the Opera of the Original Broadway Cast.  I still listen to it and think well if here she just used straight tone, or if he did this.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a million times better than the movie.  I think I’m having choir withdrawals.  I have been singing almost nonstop recently.  I don’t even care what people think either.  I used to not sing outside of the choir room or on stage because I didn’t want to be singled out or criticized, but now I just belt out what I want when I want.  Especially since I have the house to myself quite a bit during the weekdays.  I’ll plug in recordings of my past choir songs we did and sing along just like I was onstage.  Sometimes I even sing the solo I didn’t get. (gasp)

Music can make me happy.  It can make me cry.  It can make me dance even though I’m not sure I know how to.  Music can bring strangers together, even if just for a few minutes.  Music can be moving, or it can be fun.  Music is as multicultural as the world.  Music is as aged as time.  “Music makes the world go rou-ound!!!”

“I got 99 problems, but pitch ain’t one.”