Spooky Stuff

Spooky Stuff

Hey, guys!!! Sorry I’ve been a bit redundant recently! Today I’m going to get off the beaten track some.

Today I would like to tell you guys something a little crazy, but I’ve been gathering evidence for YEARS. So my point is super valid. Ready? Here goes….

My framily is haunted. Not their house, not a possession they own…. They are insidious-style haunted.


All rights for the pictures in this post go to this movie, FYI. So first, I would like to let you know that I love the Insidious movies. Second, I would like to say I get scared stupid easy. You can yell “boo”, and I’ll be creeped out the rest of the day. That’s just how it goes. That being said, I’ve been super brave researching this theory. I deserve an award.

So it all started when I was a senior. This was the first time we were roommates. They weren’t married yet. But that’s not really pertinent to the story. We were all living in this house that we had loads of fun in, and I just wish we could go back to then sometimes because, like I said, we had loads of fun.

Well one night we had a really good, long walk and came home. Sara and David had gone back to their perspective bedrooms, and I was just kind of chilling on the floor in the living room. As I sat there, I saw a creepy looking weirdo with a white face walk by in the laundry room. Now there isn’t much room to walk by in the laundry room. It was a pretty small space. I would’ve seen a door open if the one door in there had. BUT I SWEAR TO YOU I SAW IT HAPPEN. I think I’m going to have nightmares tonight.


Second scenario, we are in a completely different house. They are now married and have a kid (one of the greatest kids I know). So we are sitting there just chilling in the living room (note to self: stay away from the living room from now on), and all of the sudden the Playstation randomly turns on by itself. It beeps to life, and the fan starts whirring. I freak out a little bit, but they console me by saying it “happens all the time” and the console is “about to go out”. Doesn’t seem like it to me. In fact, I would say it turns on quite well. Then not long after this little scene happens, the baby chair turns on and start singing and lighting up by itself. Obviously there is something wrong here. They remain calm, but I know when to freak out. And this one a time to freak out. This happened so many times too!! It was not an isolated incident! Stuff would light up all by itself. The TV would turn itself on, the toys, the Playstation….. it’s enough to make anyone cower under their sheets.


So here’s the punchline story…. This last weekend when I was staying with them some nonsense happened that made me really realize that they were haunted. There’s no denying it anymore. So now they are living in a house that is TWO HOURS AWAY from the last house. It’s not just the houses. It’s them. Alright? Do you understand this? Anyhoo, so we were all hanging out in the office, and Clouse was playing in his super cool room.  Now, they have this alarm system that beeps anytime a window or a door gets opened. Which is cool since they have a three year old that likes to play outside. You always know when someone left the house… Well like I said, we were all talking in the office and we hear this alarm beep and just stop. We all look at each other in silence for probably what probably wasn’t a long time, but it felt like a few minutes. We all yell, “Clouse,” and run out the office to find Clouse playing in his room, completely oblivious to what’s going on. We immediately run around the house checking the doors and windows.

They are all shut. The windows are all closed.

They are haunted. They act like it’s no big deal. But I know. And I definitely didn’t sleep well at all that night.


So what do you guys think? Are they haunted or have I just watched these movies way too many times? FYI new movie is set to come out in October of next year!

Keep it classy! Check under your beds and in your closets!


The Mishap of All Mishaps

Put your seat belt on, this is one ride that could leave you scarred.

My cousin and I had gone to Borger to pick up her friend who was going to stay the night with us. On the way back, our conversation got turned to Fast and Furious. Rather, they were talking about the movies, I’d never seen them and didn’t care to. But, all the same, it turned my brain to action movies. Particularly ones where there is a need to jump out of moving vehicles. I’m sure you all know where this is headed.

“I’ve always wanted to jump out of a moving vehicle.”

They laugh and I laugh. Shelby comes to a stop and me being me, I open the door and put my foot out. She didn’t realize I was halfway out of the car, though let me tell you, I had no intention of actually getting out of the car, and sped off.

Inertia is a powerful thing. My foot must have built up quite a bit of inertia to the ground because next thing I know, my whole body is sliding across the asphalt. Our friend Laci, said she looked back and saw my knee sort of buckle and me falling out of the car.

I remember the fall in slow motion, my foot dragging some, my other leg falling out, the lunge forward the slide on my arm, my face hitting the ground. Then, nothing.

I laid there for a second until my tongue found an anomaly. Yup. I had lost one of my front teeth. I look up quickly and see my tooth lying in front of me with the root attached. I grab it and stand up quickly. I run to the car freaking out. I looked like a hillbilly and I knew it. Shelby was worried because apparently there was a big bump on my head or something, but I didn’t feel it, so it must not have been too bad. I mean, come on!!!!! I HAD LOST MY TOOTH.

One tooth over, and this was what my mouth looked like.
One tooth over, and this was what my mouth looked like.

After a lot of me freaking out, we went to the ER. The doctor shoved my tooth back in (without telling me, mind you) and told me to go to the dentist the next day. I stayed up all that night to make sure it wouldn’t fall out again and went to the dentist the next day.

I have all my own teeth still. I have crazy bad road burn on my left arm, left foot, right ankle, and my right knee. I’ve got some road burn and a nasty laceration on my nose. I have a fat lip, and it turns out I did have quite a bump above my right eye. It has road burn over it too. I also bit my upper lip somehow. But, my tooth was put back in, so it’s all good.

Moral of the story, you can’t even pretend to do stunts on TV. You’ll end up doing the real thing. And look like a hillbilly.

Stay classy my friends and remember, safety first!!!

My new career.
My new career.

One Really Long Half-Birthday

I often feel related to this man.
I often feel related to this man.

Today was my half-birthday!! I was going to celebrate my birthday today because my birthday is on Christmas Eve and everything. But it didn’t really happen. I actually ended up having a really long day and now I can’t even type right.

First it started out with work. Bad enough as it is. I mean, it’s Pizza Hut. Not really ever digging this job. But then the manager didn’t have the schedule up and it was the last day of this schedule and people were being jerks and getting on to me for stuff that other people do all the time. I guarantee if I was Sara I wouldn’t have gotten in trouble. So I kindly informed my manager not to put me on the next schedule, if she ever put it up at all. And I turned my uniform in before I went to school.

So, of course I go to school in a bad mood and start kind of snapping at all sorts of people. Including the one person who’s actually brave enough to be my friend. I turned around pretty fast though. I wasn’t having any fun. I tried to set one guy on fire (he dared me to, and I dared on), couldn’t get my torch on a neutral flame without oxidizing it, and basically just screwing up every freaking shape I tried to cut. It was making me stupid mad. And I do mean stupid. I don’t even know where to begin counting how many times I asked Brett what the hell he was talking about. I couldn’t follow anything. Then of course when I thought I finally cut a good one, nope. I have to do “a few more”. Sigh. Sometimes welding makes me want to shoot my foot. Which reminds me, I caught my pants on fire. Sort of. Brett cut out a hexagon and I hammered it out for him. Except I hammered it into my leg. I now have a perfect hexagon on my thigh and a matching hole on my pants. Yessssss. Never mind the fact I bought them for $54. Oh, well. I was kind of asking for it I guess.

Then when I get home (this is where you really want to tune in), I was texting my friend and hanging out with my cousin thinking that maybe, just maybe it could turn out to be a good day after all. Then my cousin, Shelby, had to try and get my phone. So we’re chasing each other all over the house and tackling each other and punching each other and yelling. Then next thing you know, I’m in my room with my phone, sitting in my chair with the victory face on. Shelby comes to my door and says, “I hope you have fun with Bloody Mary looking in your window.” She then turns out my light and closes the door on me. So, I’m sitting in my chair paralyzed in fear from the dark and threat of Bloody Mary herself. Now, I KNOW I’ve mentioned how scared I am of Bloody Mary before. Terrified. Piss in my pants, bawl like a baby, go psycho like Jack Nicolson scared. I’m not kidding when I say I’m scared of her. So, I start crying. Like a toddler. And screaming for Shelby to open the door and turn the light on. What does she do when she hears me? Starts making grudge lady sounds. It’s too much for me. I plug my ears, have tears streaming down my face and start singing—very loudly—Jesus Loves Me. Then when I can’t remember the rest of the words I start screaming for Shelby again. Then when I realize she isn’t coming I resort to full throttled sobbing. Like five hours later, she finally opens the door and turns on the light and laughs at me. Never mind the fact I actually saw something move in my window and was about to die. Nope, she thinks it’s all good fun. Apparently she didn’t realize how scared I was of Bloody Mary. Hmph….

Naturally once the light was on, I grabbed my machete and started texting Brett. So now he thinks I’m a psycho too. Which is just so AWESOME. After lots of praying and sitting quietly with my machete, I get up the courage to go to the kitchen to get some milk. As I’m walking through the door of the kitchen I stub my toe on the ladder that’s just chilling there. At first it was no big deal. Then I started laughing hysterically, and my toe rapidly started swelling and changing colors. I think it’s broken. A good way to end the day I think.

Phew! I can’t believe all of this happened today!!! But I think we’ve all learned a few lessons today. First of all, don’t dare me to set you on fire, because I will. Unless somebody yanks me back. Secondly, don’t doubt me when I say I’m scared of something. Thirdly, I am completely and irrevocably psycho.

Keep it classy, folks.


The Long-Winded, Never-Ending Blog Post

Nearly Two weeks–

So, TADA!!!  I’m here, finally.  It has been a long wait (for me at least).  And the funny thing is, I’m not even actually posting this normally.  You see, I moved like, two weeks ago almost.  We were supposed to have internet within a couple of deals.  No biggie.  But then there was something about people being stupid and inconsiderate (*ahemcenturylinkahem*) and turns out, it’s going to basically be forever before we get internet.  So, I was like, “Hey, you don’t need internet to use Word!!”  (I’m so genius.)  So, BASICALLY, I can fulfill half of my blogging obsession and write.  I just can’t be all nosy and hear about other people’s high school drama, squirrel trapeze artists, and random quotes from suicidal writers from long ago (yay for Sylvia Plath).  And, instead of writing a bunch of blog posts and killing your eyes from all the Vengeance Intensity showing up, I’ll just write a really long blog post to cover the dinosaur ages I’m living in right now.  And, hopefully fool you into thinking that it really isn’t too long.

Moving day was awesome and exhausting.  I was really hyped up on caffeine; my mom’s coffee is like straight espresso.  The first time I drank it I didn’t know what to do.  Now, I have issues drinking Starbucks.  Thanks Mom.  Anyhow, the night before, actually, the day before we packed a lot of boxes and did some shopping and got the kids ready to transfer into their new schools.  I was really tired the whole day because I had stayed up late the night before packing stuff from my room.  Then I got up and packed most of the kitchen, more of mine and Kennedy’s room, Nathan’s room, the laundry room… You get the picture.  And we still didn’t have most of the house packed.  Eight people equals a lot of crap.  Then we had to load it up.  Sigh.  I ended up getting rid of some stuff that I had been hesitant about throwing away before.  I got rid of all my soccer, basketball, track meet, and academic trophies.  I mean, what am I supposed to do with them?  Get married and display them in a trophy room.  Yeahh….  So I threw those out.  I also threw out most of my stuffed animals.  Now, if you don’t know me well, this wouldn’t seem like a big deal.  But me and my animals are tight.  We have deep and serious relationships.  I cut their hair; I cook them flash-card-lasagna (instead of studying the flashcards); I give them baths, walk them, and give them bows and name tags; I make sure they are always comfortable not only when I leave for school, but at night as well; I’ve named them all; I even drew portraits of them in my own nonartistic Picasso style I’ve got.  BASICALLY, I have a thing about stuffed animals.  Even though I didn’t really play with Barbies and all those other toys people got me, I loved playing with my stuffed animals.  So, for me to get rid of my stuffed animals that I had named, cuddled, and given haircuts to… it’s a big deal, okay?  Even if I am nineteen.  No hating.  But, I didn’t throw them in the trash.  I take really good care of my stuff.  They all looked really nice and I couldn’t justify throwing them out like childhood memories, so I put them in bags (body bags, gulp) and donated them to a local Salvation Army thing.  Now, a little kid gets to hang out with my awesome childhood buddies.

My favorite part of moving day is a toss up.  I really enjoyed the moment I was getting up from the floor and my back finally popped.  But also, my favorite Meeme and Grandpa (HI!!!!) brought my Lazy-Boy recliner from their house.  They drove all the way down to us just to do so.  They were holding on to it for me at their house, and I guess Grandpa decided enough was enough.  I’m so happy to be reunited.  It used to be my dad’s, but when he got a new one and tried to sell it in a garage sale, I was like, “Heck no!!! Imma pay for it.”  It has moved almost everywhere with me.  It will be one of those pieces of furniture people look at and say, “What the heck is this doing here?  It’s shabby and matches nothing!!”  And I’m going to say, “Dude don’t hate.”  It’s squeaky, slightly broken, and a little worn, but I love it.  It still rocks (though with some noise), still reclines (sometimes I sleep in it), still is the most comfortable thing to sit in in the whole house (but I’m so protective only I am allowed to sit in it), and it is Cowboys’ colors (navy blue).  What’s there to hate?

The weekend we moved in the girls were at their dad’s in Amarillo.  It was nice moving day to not have to worry about three little ones messing with stuff as it came out of the boxes or getting in the way of you carrying something really big and you running into them.  But, when I got our room all put together (the first one in the house) I wanted to be able to look at Trinity and be like, “What, what?!?!?”  It was really kind of lonely the first night here.  I ended up sleeping on the floor of Kennedy’s room.  Our beds wouldn’t be put together until the next day so we were just sleeping on mattresses anyways.  On top of that, we didn’t have any night lights or anything, which she hates, and I had gotten used to having someone else sleeping in the room.  So, I slept on the floor.

The girls are here now, though they will be gone this weekend and I feel as if I may end up on Zoe’s bed while they are gone.  We have gotten most of our stuff out of the old house now, and it’s starting to all come together really nicely.  The best part is I know where everything is because I helped unpack most of it.  I had to quit my job at the clothing store, which really sucks because I loved that job.  But, last Friday Kennedy and I went into town and the theater was hiring.  A sign from God.  I hope so anyway.  I love movies and popcorn and sodas that taste nothing like normal sodas.  I still have no idea what I’m going to do with my life.  I have entertained the idea of becoming an MMA fighter and opening my own theater and being an undercover cop taking down the drug lords of the Dallas/Fort Worth area.  Who knows?  I know I need moola though.  Please God, give me this job.  And internet access.

Two weeks–

Well, now it has been a couple of days and there is STILL no internet access.  I think I’m about to go bonkers.  Forget this long, rambling blog post; this post has become my slow death by lack of technology and instant gratification.  Gone are the days when I can sit and dream of being a trapeze artist for a whole three seconds, until I realize how completely stupid trapeze artists are.  Gone are the days when I can look online for the answers to my sister’s quizzes and homework because I forget what ionization even means, much less how to write it down on paper intelligibly.  Gone are the days when I can listen to music for hours on Grooveshark and then promptly freak out because it made my computer get a horrible virus.  It’s like a ruptured appendix to your computer.  I only feel as if it is right to warn you before my untimely death.  No longer can I sit in my rocking chair and look up videos of people vigorously exercising and read advice on the best diet and get motivated enough to plug my computer in so it won’t die.  Because if it died I wouldn’t be able to watch more exercise videos.  And then I wouldn’t laugh.  And that would be a cold day in Juuuuuulllyyyyyyyyy!!!!

And, as I come to this slow death, it is time to admit a fantasy I have been entertaining recently.  Or a few actually.

Scene!!!  There is a drug deal going down, but everyone there knows that it will go wrong.  Tony doesn’t have the money.  He’s going to try and steal the goods.  You see the guns in each of the gangs’ wastebands.  There is tension building.  They all start getting a little heated; it comes to a roar when….. BAM!!!!  The most fearsome gangster in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area shows up.  She has amazing hair, awesome Nikes, and moves like Jagger.  “This is my territory, brothas.”  Next thing you know, SNAP, CRACKLE, POP!!!!  They are all on the ground.  GASP!!! Are they dead?  No, she’s cool like Batman.  No killing here tonight.  She’s on a diet.  She dials 911 with her gloved hands on one of the gangsta’s phones.  She drops the phone and a little red envelope.  She disappears into the night, only a legend to some, but real enough to clear the streets of gang violence and speak to your children in the elementary schools about why drugs are bad.  And alcohol too.

Scene!!!! Blood flying from a mouth; the jaw has been dislocated.  But how could this be?!?!  He’s a five-time heavy-weight UFC champion.  And he’s getting poned by a five-foot-three, red headed girl with a mean ol’ one-two.  Oh, this is rich!!! Who would’ve imagined a fight like this??  Small town girl with only six weeks of training, taking on a heavy-weight champ like this?  I see Monster sponsorships, some Dallas Cowboy season tickets, a certain yahtzee boyfriend in this girl’s future.  No one will mess with her.  In fact, she advocates for improvement in the standards of the public school system, and no one tells her no.

Scene!!! She started out as a small-time cop.  Now she is a big-time detective.  They put her name in the sky when it becomes too much for the regular cops anymore.  She has solved more murders than the great detective Shawn Spencer himself.  In fact, Shawn Spencer now claims to have trained under her.  She visits the high schools to inform and recruit for the local PD.  She gets a standing ovation every time.

I don’t know who this mysterious girl is.  But her hair is amazing.  And I think we really have a lot in common with each other.

In other news, I have started to write my first book.  Actually, I’m sort of writing two books at once.  Kennedy and I are writing a self-help book for all you people out there who aren’t perfect.  It’s called The Narcissist’s Self-Help.  Our collaboration, with a foreword by Nathan means it will be sold out before it even hits the shelves.  The other book I’m writing is more like a novel.  BASICALLY, I read a tweet from some random person I don’t actually know but somehow ended up on my twitter log…. anyhoo, it called for someone to write a novel in which the writer slowly falls in love with the reader.  So, I’m rising to the occasion.  It’s actually really stupid of me to try and write something so complicated and intricate on my first try, but I’m looking forward to seeing how it comes out none the less.  I’ve got some good ideas.  It’s just implementing them that’s the hard part.  I’ve actually come up with a couple of other ideas for books that I may try later.  I guess I’ll have to see how these first couple of books goes.  Right now, I’m writing them more for the fun of it, but you never know.  Maybe someone will actually like them.  And if not, maybe I’ll self-publish just for the fun of it.

It’s about two in the morning right now.  I made a last minute trap up to the panhandle tonight.  I enjoy driving, but it was a long trip all the same.  And I was drinking lots of coffee to make sure I stayed awake, so now my mind is going a million miles an hour and wants to do all sorts of things, but my eyes and body are telling me to shut it down.  I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t bring my computer charger, so I’ll have to shut my computer off at some point.

I’m also having some trouble relaxing because I made plans to see my dad tomorrow.  It’s going to be the first time I’ve seen them since our big fight with my books and stuff.  I just realized I forget Nick and Dani’s Christmas presents though.  Which is really ironic because I actually made a packing checklist so I wouldn’t forget those exact things specifically.  I made the checklist and didn’t use it.  Amazing.  I digress… I don’t plan on staying long.  I’ll probably only visit for a few minutes.  Good news!!! They found the rest of my books.  At my suggestion (because I was really angry about having to start my collection all over again), they checked out the attic to see if there was any of my stuff that got put up there and forgotten about.  Guess what?!?  There was a whole six boxes full of stuff.  Mostly books.  And, my dad actually apologized.  What?!?  Anyways, I’m not sure where I’m going to put these six boxes of books in mine and Trinity’s room, but I’m so stoked that I am finally going to be reunited with my books.  I need a bookshelf.  Or two.

I’m going to go write a novel and fall in love now.  Maybe next time I get on my computer it will be to post this online so ya’ll won’t die.  This is already 2, 331 words.  Oh, dear.

Two and a half weeks—

I’m going to die.  Who would’ve thought that going only a couple of weeks without internet could be so devastating?  I think I’m going to have to be admitted soon.  I’m running out of things to do on my computer.  I made an account for Nathan on here, even though he barely uses my computer.  I’ve started writing multiple books.  I made folders within folders, within folders, which are sometimes within folders.  Everything is so organized, it’s almost impossible to figure out where everything is!!!  Unless you’re me.  So I guess it’s okay.  All the same though…. I can’t do anything more on my computer.  INTERNET.

Anyhoo, I’ll tell Microsoft Word about my weekend and hope it eventually reaches my readers’ eyes.  If ya’ll are still there.  Ooh!!!  I can add ya’ll to my computer’s dictionary!!  Yesssss.  But, this weekend.  Right.  So, like I mentioned a few days ago (a few paragraphs ago to you), I went to go pick up the girls from their dad’s again.  I stayed with my cousin, who’s awesome and has a really cute baby.  We hung out/talked for a little while.  It had been quite some time since we had last seen each other, so there was quite a bit of talking to do.  We can text, but it’s not quite the same.  So, she told me about Harlow and changing majors from becoming a lawyer’s assistant to welding.  I told her about moving, and quitting, and writing, and sleeping…. Just kidding.  I did tell her that I had been thinking about moving down that direction to go to school at Frank-Phillips for welding.  I had considered it before I enlisted, and I still really liked the idea.  I know you are probably thinking we are the weirdest girls ever, but basically you’ve never lived until you’ve welded.  My grandpa is the awesomest man in the world.  He’s a welder.  A really good one.  He actually teaches the classes at the college now.  When I was thinking about doing welding, I went to go visit the college and one of the students he has taught me some stuff.  It was so fun.  I really enjoyed it, but I let people talk me out of it.  Something about it being dangerous and what not.  So I joined the army.  I digress, my grandpa’s really cool and I had been thinking about going to his college to get my welding certification.  So, we started talking about me staying with her.  Well, she mentioned it to me and I got really happy because I have really awesome cousins and aunt and papa and I was thinking about just staying in a dorm.  I haven’t fully made up my mind, but I’m pretty sure it’s what I’m going to do.

I’ve been really wishy-washy on the whole get-a-life-thing.  I haven’t been able to come to a conclusion about what I want to do.  I really liked the idea of finally becoming a welder.  It has been in the back of my mind, really, since I became discharged.  I don’t know why it has been taking me so long to get my butt in gear and moving.  I’ve been scared of failure for sure.  Who isn’t?  I think I have more issues with the idea of non-perfection than the normal person though.  Also, I have been feeling really guilty recently.  Well, for the past few months.  I want to move on with my life, call the mistakes I’ve made mistakes and keep on truckin’… but it’s been hard for me to do.  I don’t want to leave my family in Dallas because they say I’m such a help.  Mom says she can cope without me, they’ve done it before, but I feel like we’re barely coping right now.  I don’t feel like I’ve done too much, but I don’t want to cause harm.  I almost feel an unspoken pressure to go to college down here, get a job down here, stay down here to be ready to help.  Obviously, no one has said that.  It’s just something my mind has been telling me I need to do, but I don’t want to.  It doesn’t feel right.  I love Dallas.  And I definitely want to live here someday.  But, maybe now isn’t the right time to do so.

I was talking to Kennedy and Nathan about it yesterday.  It’s amazing that they are younger than me and already so wise.  I think they are just unbiased actually.  And don’t have mental issues.  I was telling them how I think it’s wrong for me to just leave and go to college.  They both snorted and started talking, trying to tell me the exact same thing. “It’s what people do.  It’s what I’m going to do.  People leave to go to college all the time.”  And I guess they’re right.  People do leave to go to college.  Why should I be any different?  Kennedy said I go at life with the attitude that I’ve already screwed up my chance, but that I need to realize I can get that back.  I’m just making it harder on myself by putting it off.

Phew, I know you guys wish you had younger siblings that wise.  Obviously, I’m not going to just make the decision based on what my younger siblings say.  I love them, and they are too smart to be related to me, but they are my younger siblings and I have standards.  Just kidding.  What I’m trying to say is that I didn’t make my decision based solely on what they told me.  After and before talking to them I have realized that, recently especially, I have made a lot of decisions based on wanting people to be happy.  And, a lot of the times I don’t feel as happy.  In my head, it’s selfish to put yourself anywhere but last.  It’s selfish to complain about your lot.  For me, especially so since I’m the one that got me where I was.  But, I think it’s time for me to be a little selfish I guess.  Because BASICALLY if I don’t, I’ll be one of those old ladies with 29 cats and no one to talk to.  I’ve been living through my writings and hearing about other people’s lives.  And it’s pretty pathetic.  So, I’m making a decision.  To be happy and enjoy what I’m doing.  To not be the lady with 29 cats, because I would have to take 29 Zyrtecs a day to cope.

On Facebook, I’ve been seeing my friends trying out for the Voice and hosting events, talking about their college discussions and homework, and in the case of one of my friends, scuba diving.  (Yes, I have more than one friend trying out for the Voice.  Ironically, neither of them were in choir.)  And it sucked.  And I’m tired of it sucking.  I look forward to the day when I can post, “Suckers!!!  Got my welding license!!! What?!!?”  Also it would be nice to say that I’ve published some books and stuff like that.  My sister and I have been messing around with some sound programs too.  And I guess since I’m in choir I should actually sing Mary Had a Little Lamb or something for YouTube.  I’ll turn it into a heavy metal song.

Oh, I got way off track.  So, anyway, Shelby (my cousin) and I talked about that stuff.  Then I went to go see my dad.  My stepmom stayed in the kitchen and made sure not to look at me.  My dad helped me load my books into the car and we chatted some.  I was so excited to get my books!!!  Nick and Dani had really grown up!  They were so tall.  I got the date of Dani’s dance recital and I’m hoping I can make it, especially since it may be her last one.  The visit was surprisingly nonstressful.  For the most part, Dad asked about college and I accidentally mentioned I had been thinking of moving closer, but it smoothed over well.  He mentioned he wanted to see me more.  And it was nice talking to my brother and sister again.  I’ve certainly missed them.  I think if we avoid the big topics, we’ll be alright.  Maybe.  Fingers crossed because I’m kind of getting tired of fighting.  And it’s like Kennedy told me at least four times yesterday, I get grumpy when I’m tired.  And when I don’t have internet access.  I’m going to go find a crime show to watch or something….. (3,769 words.)

Three Weeks–

It’s finally happened!!  A really attractive, sweet man gave me the gift of internet.  Thanks if you made it this far!!!! I think I’ve got half of my novel done!!  (3795 words)

Sick, sick, sick

I sit here before you with my eyes watering, nose running, lips chapped, and body burning.  It sounds like hell, doesn’t it?  Mainly because it is.  It is also referred to as a cold.

I’m such a wussy when I get sick.  Probably because I hardly ever do.  So, the few times I actually do get sick, well…. Let’s just say everybody knows.  Haha.  Hopefully the modern miracles of Zyrtec, Halls, and Kleenex can fix this.  Though I think I’m about to go to the alternate medicine of homemade cough syrup.  I actually like the way it tastes.


While my body is sick, my mind is starting to clear however.  I see that I have trusted a lot of people too much and believed every word they said, refusing to see the lies.  Because of my blind trust I have come across a lot of pain and I see now how to fix it.

But, I’ve also noticed how messed up I am as well.  I keep justifying the things I’m doing saying it will benefit me now.  Never thinking about the long term.  This is good if the zombie apocalypse is upon us, but since I have had to come to face the stark reality that life will forever be un-zombied and (unfortuantely) caught up in the Kardashians, I see now it has come time for me to grow up and start realizing that while tomorrow may never come, odds are it will.  And am I really prepared for it?  I guess you could say I’ve made some resolutions after all, though most of these goals I do not want to accomplish within the next year, but as soon as possible.

Yeah, I'm crying about it too.
Yeah, I’m crying about it too.

My last post was cut off by an unfortunate circumstance last night.  For the sake of privacy, I’ll just say my bunny died.  When something major happens to someone you love, it’s kind of weird how it makes you stop and consider things, don’t you think?  For example, after I got over my initial shock and anger of, hey my bunny died, I was started to think.  Is it my fault?  Did I unconciously provide the means or motive for such a thing?  Did I make it seem okay somehow?  Here I am thinking I told my bunny not to die enough times he wouldn’t, only to find he did anyways.  It just makes a girl stop and consider that maybe what you thought wasn’t an issue is, and maybe you contributed to that being an issue whether you wanted to or not.

When those questions arise you have to stop and think, “Should I have even been around my bunny?  If I had let it be, would it still live?”  Next thing you know I’m starting to think of all the other things I’ve been doing wrong that may or may not have been connected to my bunny.  Everything from how I eat to whether or not I need to block Cameron’s number.  All these questions and ideas start swirling around in my head, like flies–just annoying enough to make you want to kill them all.  Make them stop flying.  Make them leave you alone for good.  And like a leaky faucet, the only way that it will stop annoying you is if you grab the stupid toolbox and just fix it.

Fly numero uno: the whole Cameron situation has gotten out of hand.  For too long have I been at his beck and call.  For too long has he plagued my blog posts.  For too long has he made me look the fool.  For too long has he plagued my kingdom.  And if I’m too weak to just ignore him or say no, I’ll just make it impossible for him to even ask.  I’ll block his number.  Actually, my parents will because I don’t know how and I’d be nice to keep it that way.  That way I can’t just undo what I’ve done.

Fly Beta: My paycheck comes, and it goes just as fast.  I complain about the meningitis shot being so expensive, but in all reality, I would have had enough money to get it if I hadn’t been so careless with my finances.  Now, I’m not going to go see an Edward Jones advisor and be a crazy investment tycoon, but I could open up a savings account and start putting all of my money in there that I don’t use to pay for my bills.  Obviously you can still withdraw money from a savings account, but just the very fact that it’s in there will make me more likely to keep it there.


Fly Three: I have been relying on other people for too long.  It’s time I play my own game and do what I need to do to advance personally in my life.  Not stand sit on peoples’ coat tails and hope they’ll be able to pull along my fat butt.  The way my sister put it one time, “You’re nineteen years old, living with your mom, and your not even in college.”  Obviously I’m not in the position that I can just move out right now and be okay.  I’d end up homeless.  But I can start realizing that I can’t just stay here forever and claim I’m “trying to help out”.  At some point, if I’m not already there, I’m going to become a burden.  I do not know exactly what needs to happen, but it is something I finally realized needs to happen, and I am certainly seeking out the best plan of action.

My bunny can never come back to life, but maybe I can move on and never let something like this happen again.


The Important Things

So, I have now decided to actually talk about the stuff that other people would find important.  Mainly the people who don’t really think the zombie apocalypse is going to transpire.  As I alluded to in my last post, some crazy stuff happened during this past week that I wish I could say affected me more than it did.  But, it is what it is.  Sure it’s sad that I don’t even feel that bothered about it.  I was angry for sure.  But I didn’t feel hurt or sad.  I was just angry.  I guess I should actually say what happened.

This past weekend I went to go pick up my little sisters from their dad’s.  I went by myself so I could stay at my friends’ and hang out.  First thing was I ended up hanging out with Cameron.  We mainly just watched movies and talked, but I was so sure that I was “over it” or whatever.  Basically I made my self look like a freaking idiot because I told him I was never going to talk to him again, then we stayed up late into the night catching up.  What the heck is my problem?  I didn’t even care that the relationship we have is crazy and not good for either of us.  I have resolve for a few days that I’m moving past the stuff that’s pulling me down, then I just fall right back down like a fat kid on a slide.  I want to tell him that I shouldn’t have hung out with him that night.  But, I like his company.  He’s a good listener, and he’s funny. We’ve been at each other’s throats before, but it always worked out in the end.  I guess the real question is, is it at the expense of me and my goals and my beliefs?  And I think it is.  I don’t like to come off as wishy-washy but I’ve made myself that way.  It’s not the relationship that bothers me so much, I think, as the fact that I can be SO determined about something and go the completely opposite direction a couple days later.  That is perhaps the most frustrating.  I can see what isn’t good in my life.  I can stop it too.  But when it comes down to it, I lack the conviction to pull through and do it anyway.  I guess it’s so much easier to live the same way.

Now that I’ve been all teenage dramatic, here’s the real event that pissed me off.  My stepmother, Darla, texted me-yes, texted me-that I need to call a number, it was the phone company; she had released the rights to my phone and I had to pick them up; I had to get my stuff out of the building because she needed the space, and she thought I was trying to push them away.  Bish didn’t even have the courage to call me and tell me.  Why the heck would you not talk to someone about stuff like that?  No, let’s just shoot them a text like it’s no big deal.  Maybe play it down.  Yeah, that’s real adult-like right there.  They preached and preached about acting like an adult and being RESPONSIBLE and RESPECTFUL.  But, I guess I don’t understand it.  Anyways, so I called the phone company and told them what’s up.  I didn’t seal the deal.  I called my mom, literally shaking with anger, and told her what happened.  After a quick discussion, I decided not to accept the rights to my phone.  I think it was a low blow and unneccessary.  Really, they are just pissed off because I’m not living with them and I’m doing fine.  They were always asking me if there was something wrong or going on.  Get over yourselves.  Really.  Later after I got home Darla and I had a heated discussion about everything.  They are convinced that I moved out on my own will (telling me I have 30 minutes to get out means I moved out on my own will) and that I’m being immature and betraying them.  I’m ungrateful.  They are the victims.  Yeah, I went into town to see some friends and didn’t tell them.  The last two times I saw them they barely spoke to me.  When I tried to involve myself they just acted like it was an obligation to listen and I was an annoying family member they were forced to chill with.  Why would I want to see them?  Apparently my father texted me and asked if I was in town the day before.  I never got the text, so I couldn’t reply to it.  But he’s convinced I got it and ignored it.  His phone told him.  All your phone tells you is that it was sent.  My God.  Your phone cannot tell you if it was received by the other phone or that it was read.  After my argument with Darla, my father texted me this:

I did text you last night.  It shows it was received and read.  I know you are an adult.  Act like one.  Don’t access my part of the FAFSA anymore.  You are an adult you can figure out how to go to school without my help and information.  You did say you were moving out.  I was as tired of your crap then as I am now.  We went out of our way because we wanted to see you Wednesday, but you wouldn’t hardly say two words to us. [Bull shit.]  I didn’t want to see you the last time you were in town because you sent me a hateful text earlier that day.  [I told him I was coming into town to visit my friends anyway because he made some lame excuse saying he didn’t want to see me because he didn’t want me driving at night.]  I get the message.  You hate me.  I will not contact you again.  Please make arrangements to pick up the rest of your stuff.  If you ever want to talk to me, you know how to get in touch with me.  I will always gladly talk to you, but you will have to be the one to call or text.  I will not call you or text you again without hearing from you first.  I love you, [sounds like it] but I cannot keep living like this.

Me: I won’t put forth effort if you won’t.  Sorry you see it that way.  Love you too. Bye.

They burnt this bridge not me.  They’re gonna try and eat their words someday, and they’re going to find I don’t give a flying shit.  To put it as nicely as I can right now.


The Impending Zombie Apocalypse

What with everything that has happened within the past week of my life that has made me feel really dizzy on a daily basis, I have decided to focus on the important things.  We all know that the zombie apocalypse is happening people.  I know there will be snickers out there and nay-sayers… Ya’ll don’t understand.  And when you become a zombie, I will gracefully and mercifully stab your brainstem to prevent you from dominating the world with your nasty sock-smelling breath and jaundiced eyes.  Cuz that’s just gross, dog.

However, after some research done by some professors and doctors involved in the good ol’ CDC, that have explored the “possibility” of a pending zombie apocalypse and have come to the conclusion that the people must take the offensive.  The fully alive people that is.  That have morning breath instead.  I digress.  In case you missed the point of the beginnning of this rambling paragraph, here it is: FIGHT THE ZOMBIES.  No hiding out in your self-made-in-case-of-a-emergency basement or shelter.  No waiting for some cure.  You see, if we only kill them when they come to eat our brains and fatty (and oddly flammable) flesh, they will quickly be the only type of human left on earth.  And that would defeat the point of hiding out.  On top of that, the CDC said so itself, by the time they find the cure (if they do) it would only save a small percentage of the population.  Which sucks because if they have to cure you, you obviously would just get caught again and the whole thing would happen all over again. And ain’t nobody got time for that.  No, the best defense is a good offense.  Right Jason Garrett? (Yes, write it down people.  I just insulted my own Dallas Cowboys.) But scratch those last two sentences like a squirrel on a tree.  You don’t need just a good defense, you need a freakin’ BEAST offense.  That is why I recommend you start preparing now.

For example, you want to be prepared to be able to run long distances quickly in case you bite off a little more than you can chew.  In order to train for this I personally am going to start running multiple times a day for thirty minutes each.  Not only do your legs need to be an Olympian machine, but your body needs to be in tip top shape as well.  So you should also start some strengthening exercises.  A good friend of mine has decided that since he works at a physically laborious job, he will be good to go.  I kindly withdrew my earlier proposition to team up during the said sick event.  But if you want to get caught by an old granny that has all her brain power capable to her eating your rump, that’s your business.  I’m just gonna cut mine down to size a bit.

Secondly, you need to have the right supplies.  Keep in mind that we are taking the offensive.  So you need to be able to move around.  With that being said, one change of clothes will be enough Barbie dolls.  I personally am going to have one pair of shorts, sweatpants (cold weather), underwear, socks, one extra shirt (I have an end-of-the-world shirt), and a jacket or sweat shirt.  I will also take a hat.  Personally, there is nothing hotter than a Miles Austin-looking figure wearing a hat slaying zombies.  I shall be the female version.  Beware. (I must pause here.  I am cracking myself up.) You will want to have access to nonperishable foods that will allow you to last for quite a while.  They should be in containers that will be able to be moved quickly.  I personally am not going to wait for some skeptic to throw Ramen into a garbage bag.  Peace out, good luck, see you later.

WEAPONS            I personally have a machete and a pocket knife.  My younger brother also has a plethora of sharp objects, and having done the dishes quite often, I know exactly where all the butcher knives of the house are.  If you have a gun, that will be helpful perhaps if you come into a situation where you have to fight off twenty booger-leakers at once and you aren’t as talented as me.  Just remember, brain stem.  Otherwise you just be wastin ammo.  And sux for you, cuz I ain’t sharin.  I just went gangsta.  Otherwise, you’ll want to keep that heat simmered down.

I assume you are smart enough to plan out the rest of the major supplies you will need.  I look forward to fighting the battle with you gents.


I will be much less woman-bodybuilder and more zombie-freaking-killer.  And have cooler sunglasses than that.  I mean, c’mon chick.